Wants POV

Do you really want what you want?

... Let the question sink in before you answer.

... Well now.. Let's just talk about the technicalities of wants. How does someone decide what he wants?

1) Expectations

2) Whims

3) Emotions

4) Pressure

Goals. Let's talk about that for now. This heading can be divided into more sub headings.

a) meeting your own expectations of yourself (to allow yourself to feel good)

b) meeting other people's expectations of yourself (to allow others to feel good)

c) meeting your expectation of other people's expectations of yourself (to allow yourself to feel good by allowing others to feel good)

There is no right or wrong in any of these factors. I do want to point out that, the expectations of yourself and others will have to be clearly communicated to yourself in order for them to be met.

Whims. A lot of factors will be able to influence your whims. Good marketing/persuasion, biases, comparisons, emotions, etc. It will be easier to influence the whims for short term wants than long term wants though.

Emotions. When some people are happy, they may want to do things to maintain it. Some people will not want to, as they may have this thinking that happiness don't last. (Different people have different thinking.) It is the same with sadness, worry and other emotions.

Pressure. There is pressure from yourself, pressure from others like people around you and society and imaginary pressure from anywhere. This will affect what you want. Pressure is like stress, and like stress, it can be used positively or negatively. If you can use it positively, it will be good in helping you achieve what you want. If you cannot manage it well yet, you may deviate away from what you want at the start and you may make rash decisions about what you want. Keep those pressure away from you first and deal with it bit by bit.

For imaginary pressure, you can hold onto it if it helps you in anyway. If it makes you feel bad, just throw it away :s

The purpose of sharing this point of view, is to allow you to be more aware, so that more informed decisions can be made by yourself, rather than other people or other factors. This is your life, and the magic and the fun is in being able to have control over your own character.... Woohoo! :8

Reminder to connect

I have always liked connecting with people.

Recently, I haven't been doing so and was in a downward spiral. Began to feel lousy about myself and began to pull some others down with me.. Luckily, due to the fact that I am a very reflective person (haha.. :p ), i realized this fact as I was talking to a friend on the phone.

Will always remind myself about this whenever I am feeling down..

Open-minded? ... not....?

I always want to be open minded to changes and I am, sometimes. But there are still times when i are unable to accept the changes.

But i will accept them, because of love. I will want myself and others to see more, and to grow, and to see how much we can achieve with the support of one another.

Jia you!

Mature whine

To be mature... to me, it means to be able to behave in a confident manner, and it doesn't matter whether you are able to make the situation better.

I will be someone mature, yet am able to better the situation for most of the people involved (subjective for them) hopefully for the long run...

Haha... long and specific definition... i do hope i can find this genre of job though..  will love it to the max.. :6

pre 2015

I get really defensive and guilty when somebody feels bad in any situation involving to me. It seems that I want to take responsibility for that.

Think it is due to myself, wanting to meet the expectations of what others have of me. This is one of the reasons why I don't like to know too many people, as it is a bad habit of mine to meet their expectations of me.

I know I cannot blame others for me wanting to meet their expectations, and getting stressed along the way. I have to learn to do things within my means.

Things will change, and I know I am kinda resistant to it. But changes happen due to everybody/everything adjusting to each other.. kinda like every one and thing is matching up to each other's expectations.. haha..

but.. there are people that I treasure and I sure hope that I will not lose any of them when I have changes in my life or when i am changing.

I love b, and my close friends and family.

In this new year 2015, may everyone have the strength to overcome any obstacles, the health to enjoy whatever we are all doing, and the love to care for ourselves and the people around us :o

Pull

So suddenly, for a while, I could feel myself feeling the impermanence of everything.. I just wanted to let it drag me with it, along with the flow, coz I just felt a bit tired and jaded.

But I remembered that I want to grow in this life, to handle things differently so that I will not stay stagnant...

Self thought: what if I change until a version of my past self? ..
Self thought inside a self thought: does it matter? As long as it works for me in that situation, it will be a good version.

... :8

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Knowing is one matter. Experiencing it is another. Some of us think we know a lot, but, I believe we will never really know until we experience it.

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Will there...? Can it be....?

.. There will.. And it can be :o

... Just rambling nonsense :8

Wait long long, love more more?

I feel like I have always been giving myself whatever I want, resulting in myself having lesser patience in waiting for the things I want.

I want to feel how it is like to wait for a long time for something that I want. Will it make me appreciate the thing more?

Time to not give myself what I want immediately?

Reflection

I am sure this case has happened to most people..

When one of your friends asked a few common friends out, but didn't ask you along..

My first reaction just now, is that I was kinda hurt. Then I asked myself what I did, to deserve it.

But after that, I remembered that I did such things before :8

My reasons for asking specific friends and not all:
1) interest in that particular activity
2) easier to ask a few out
3) comfort level
4) easier to communicate

So I wanted to blog this out, so as to better help me choose how I should react to similar situations next time.

I will not choose to get as close to many people as possible so that I will be included in all activities.

I will be proactive in asking different people out.

I will remember the few reasons why I choose to ask a few ppl out, so as to accept why others do the same thing.

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Seeing the top part of my blog entry, makes me feel that I am childish. Why should I bother about this when I should be focusing on other things like my career, family? ...

Should i? ...

Is it like spending energy on worthless things like watching ants walking along the side, or counting the number of people entering a station?

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My top three permanent priorities in life:
1) Health
2) Self
3) Relationships

Have I been doing enough for these 3? ..

Nope..

Okay, let's set a target for these 3 priorities.

1) Health - apart from my daily 10 min workout, I will go for a run or play a sport twice a week.

2) Self - implement/learn something new each week for myself, to help me grow

3) Relationship - to meet or chat up with a different friend each week

SM nature

When we do something wrong, shd we be punished?

Is it immoral to not be punished?

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When someone does something wrong to you, hurt you.. Would you want the person to be punished before forgiving that person?

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The other day, we had a conversation in school during contact time. The head was talking about the case of the teacher breaching the teacher-student boundary, where he did something with his female student.

My colleague was sharing with me his opinion on how harsh our employer seem to be, due to the focus of the conversation on how bad the teacher is, and how he should be punished. My colleague felt that more focus should be on the rehabilitation and the forgiving of the male teacher. He was also questioning the nature of our society now, about how unforgiving it seems to be.

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Do we really want punishment to befall on ourselves or others if we do something wrong?

Do we need punishment to right a wrong or to prevent the next wrong?

Short term = Short-changed?

“开心就好” seems to be an overrated phrase nowadays, judging from how some people use it.

Examples:
- To allow oneself in indulging in short term pleasures and in turn, stop oneself from finishing one's work
- To allow oneself to rest and stop oneself from going for training as one is lazy and tired
- To break up with a partner as one feels tired and doesn't want to put in effort to work out the differences
- To totally ignore the advice from loved ones, as it seems difficult to reflect on one's actions

It just seems to me that some times, people just wants to be happy in the short term.

There is nothing wrong with it.

I guess I am affected as I would prefer myself to grow, to break out of my comfort zone, and sometimes I impose my beliefs on others.

There is nothing wrong with people wanting short term happiness all the time until they leave the world. It doesn't mean that they will be less happier than others. It also doesn't mean they cannot get what they want, out of their lives.

I will be disciplined and grow. I will not depend on others to influence me and remind me to achieve my long term happiness.

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I am ready the most when I was with you, but I guess I am not ready enough..